Choosing others dating and mate selection

Content
  • Sociology of the Family
  • Mate Selection
  • Dating Disasters and Faulty Mate Selection: There Is a Better Way!
  • Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection
  • Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection
  • Choosing others dating and mate selection
  • My Parents Know Best: No Mating With Members From Other Ethnic Groups

Dating, Marriage, and the Jewish Way. We take for granted that the method of meeting one’s spouse is through a process called “dating. This process entails several steps: In practice, it is accepted by most people without much reflection that this is the proper and tried and true manner of meeting one’s future spouse.

Sociology of the Family

This study examined the opposition against out-group mating and the attitude towards parental influence on mate choice among Dutch, 69 Moroccan, and 69 Turkish participants aged between 15 and The level of preferred parental influence on mate choice was considerably higher among the Turks and Moroccans than among the Dutch, but females in both ethnic groups were less in favor of parental influence on mate choice than males were.[rs_table_products tableName=”Best Dating Websites”]

Overall, males showed a higher opposition against interethnic dating than females did, and the Turks showed a higher level of opposition to interethnic mating than both the Moroccans and the Dutch. In addition, the effect of opposition against interethnic mating on preferred parental influence on mate choice was especially pronounced among the Turks, somewhat less so among the Moroccans, and least strong among the Dutch.

Especially young males with a Turkish and Moroccan background seem to hold on to the values of the cultures they come from, and particularly Turkish immigrants seem keen on keeping the cohesion of their ethnic group intact by opposing interethnic dating, and by favoring parental influence on mate choice as a way to achieve this goal. This is an open access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License http: In Western societies individuals are generally assumed to freely choose their marital partners.

In many societies the parents were — and still are — the ones who eventually decide with whom their child should marry. For example, among the! Kung of South Africa, first marriages are usually arranged by parents and other close relatives Shostak, , and in a community of Australian aboriginals, marriages are predominantly arranged Burbank, Arranged marriages are even more common in agropastoral societies Apostolou, , and such marriages have traditionally been prevalent in many Asian and Middle Eastern countries.

There seem to be various ultimate motives why parents want to control the mate choice of their offspring cf. First, according to the grandmother hypothesis, menopause evolved in human females because the fitness benefits of caring for grandchildren outweighed the fitness benefits of continued reproduction e. If humans—especially females—have evolved to invest in their grandchildren, it follows that they would also have evolved to ensure that their investment is maximized.

Consequently, they are likely to have evolved preferences for their children to mate in a manner that produces healthy and plentiful grandchildren cf. Secondly, Buunk, Pollet, and Dubbs argued that a major reason of why parents want to influence the mate choice of their offspring is that they prefer to maintain the in-group homogeneous and want to prevent fragmentation of this in-group. Parents tend to be especially attentive to traits suggesting that the potential mate of their children will contribute to family and group cohesion, and that their grandchildren are socialized in a culturally appropriate manner.

All over the world, marriages between members of different ethnic groups are generally considered as something wrong that needs to be prevented, especially by parents Murdock, More specifically, the virtually universal criteria that parents tend to impose are that the future spouse of their children should come from the same ethnic group, the same religious group, and the same – or higher – social class see Apostolou, , , , ; Buunk et al.

Not surprisingly, second-generation immigrants indicate that conflicts with their parents in the realm of dating and marriage are common when they want to choose a spouse independently e. For instance, Hindu women living in the UK indicate that their parents would never accept a son-in-law from outside of their caste or culture Bhopal, A second-generation Indian American woman revealed her reasons for marrying within her own socio-cultural group: In line with this, in a study in Mexico among parents of children in the age between 15 and 25, Buunk et al.

This gender difference was especially pronounced in the Mestizo group — the group with the highest status, who would assumedly have the strongest interest in preserving the status of their group. The present research was theoretically and methodologically built upon the study by Buunk, Pollet, and Dubbs We examined 1 to what extent young second generation immigrants of Turkish and Moroccan descent in the Netherlands, and native Dutch do favor parental influence on mate choice; 2 to what extent these young people do oppose mating individuals from the other ethnic groups; and 3 to what extent the perceived desirability of parental influence on mate choice is related to opposition against mating out-group members.

The Turkish and Moroccans are by far the largest immigrant groups in The Netherlands: However, most current immigrants from these countries arrived later, not as guest workers, but under a regulation of family reunification, or in the expectation of finding a better life. Although many Turkish and Moroccan immigrants are integrating well, and have currently a number of representatives in the parliament, overall, both groups still occupy a relatively low status position in society, and are socio-economically worse-off than the native Dutch e.

Assessing the attitudes towards parental influence on mate choice and towards interethnic mating in these groups is particularly relevant as the Dutch have historically been strongly in favor of free mate choice, which may cause a large cultural gap between the Dutch on the one hand and immigrants from Morocco and Turkey on the other hand.

In contrast, in both Turkey and Morocco, arranged marriages are still rather common. However, most Turkish immigrants to The Netherlands come from rural areas in Anatolia, where arranged marriages are probably more common than in Westernized urban areas. On the basis of the foregoing, it can be predicted that young Turks and Moroccans in The Netherlands will have a more favorable attitude towards parental influence on mate choice, and will be more opposed to interethnic mating than ethnically Dutch young people,.

In addition, there is some evidence that family values may be less likely affected by acculturation to the majority culture than family ties. It must be noted, however, that the cultural values of Turkish and Moroccan immigrants are by no means identical. While the foregoing implies that the immigrant groups will show more opposition to out-group mating than the ethnically Dutch, one might also argue that the ethnically Dutch, being the highest status group, will be more, rather than less, opposed against out-group mating to maintain the status of their group.

To summarize, in the present research the same theoretical issues were examined as in the study by Buunk et al. The first aim of the study was to assess whether young Turks and Moroccans had a stronger preference for parental influence on mate choice than ethnically Dutch young people, and whether Turks and Moroccans differed in this respect. Secondly, it was examined whether ethnically Dutch young people showed more opposition against out-group mating than both immigrant groups, and whether Turks and Moroccans differed in this respect.

Thirdly, it was examined to what extent an opposition to out-group mating was related to a preference for parental influence on mate choice, particularly among the two immigrant groups. Fourthly, with respect to all these issues, also gender differences were examined. Males are in most cultures the main actors in determining the mate choice of their offspring, and therefore males in the immigrant groups may favor more parental control over mate choice than females Apostolou, In addition, females of the immigrant groups may be more open to interethnic dating and be more negative about parental control of their mate choice as they may feel they may enhance their status by marrying economically well-off Dutch males cf.

Buunk et al. Men tend to have generally more prejudices towards outgroup members than women e. However, it is difficult to make an unequivocal prediction on gender differences in the attitude towards dating members of other ethnic groups. The respondents were deliberately selected in the age range of 15 to 25 years. This age range was chosen for a couple reasons. Secondly, while the average age of marriage in the Netherlands is By the age 15, most girls have had their first period, and many children begin to think about dating, or have already started to date.

Thus, 15 to 25 seemed like a reasonable age range to use for the study. Therefore, children in this age range, will generally be, or have recently been, confronted with potential prospective marital partners; thus the concerns of their parents over their mate choice may be a salient issue for them. The questionnaire was conducted in Dutch and was administered by Flycatcher, an independent research agency that conducts online survey collection in samples representative of the Dutch population.

Participants were rewarded for completing a questionnaire, by receiving a credit for an online store. Flycatcher has a data-base of potential participants and a sample was selected as representative as possible of Dutch, Turkish and Moroccan young people between the ages of 15 to 25 living in The Netherlands. It was more difficult to obtain the collaboration of Moroccan and Turkish young people than of the Dutch. The sample included Dutch 52 men and 55 women , 69 Moroccan 19 men and 50 women , and 69 Turkish young people 26 men and 43 women.

The highest obtained educational level was as follows: The present sample of Moroccans and Turks can therefore be reasonably viewed as comprising second generation immigrants. To assess parental influence on mate choice the scale developed by Buunk et al. This scale was guided by previous work e. The scale was developed to be sensitive to variations in the degree of parental influence within and between cultures.

For instance, it includes an item that seems to represent the most extreme form of parental influence —the practice in which a daughter is treated as a kind of property that the father is allowed to give to another man Goode, —as well as an item that represents the other extreme—the norm that children have the right to select their own partner without any interference by their parents.

Participants were asked to give their personal beliefs or opinions. All ten items had the format of a statement with which people could respond on a 5-point scale from I disagree completely to I agree completely. Seven items consisted of statements expressing parental influence on mate choice, whereas three items consisted of statements expressing individual choice. This was somewhat higher than in some previous studies.

This scale consisted of five items and was largely similar to the one used by Buunk et al. The items were taken from the scale for intergroup mating competition developed by Klavina and Buunk , but was adapted to be suitable for young people. It was first examined whether a preference for parental influence on mate choice was higher among the two immigrant groups than among the Dutch, whether this preference differed between the two immigrant groups, and whether there were gender differences in this regard.

Turkish and Moroccan respondents indicated virtually identical levels of preference for parental influence on mate choice. However, the interaction between gender and ethnic group qualified these effects considerably. From another perspective, as Figure 1 shows, the females from both immigrant groups had an attitude much closer to that of Dutch females than males had to that of Dutch males. Next, the means of the present immigrant groups were compared with those of East Asian immigrants in Canada.

As Buunk et al. Thus, also these data clearly suggest that the females of both immigrant groups were more westernized than the males. Next, it was examined whether opposition to interethnic mating was higher among the Dutch, whether such opposition differed between the two immigrant groups, and whether there were gender differences in this regard.

The last two groups indicated virtually identical levels of opposition to interethnic mating. To examine the central issue in this research—how a preference for parental influence on mate choice was related to opposition to interethnic mating for and females in the three ethnic groups—a univariate GLM analysis was conducted with gender and ethnic group as factors, and with opposition to intergroup mating as covariate.

All main effects and interactions were included in the model. These findings suggest that differences in the preferred level of parental influence on mate choice between males and females and between the ethnic groups can at least in part be explained by differences in the opposition to interethnic mating. Separate regression analyses within the three ethnic groups showed that particularly among the Turkish respondents a preference for parental influence on mate choice was related to opposition against interethnic mating.

Preferred parental influence on mate choice for males and females in the three ethnic groups. The present research examined the preferred parental influence on mate choice, the opposition against interethnic mating, and the relation between both variables among young people from two recent immigrant groups in the Netherlands, i. A first important finding was that, as expected, overall, the level of preferred parental influence was considerably higher among the Turks and Moroccans than among the Dutch.

This finding suggests that Turkish and Moroccan youngsters favor to a considerable degree that individuals follow the preferences of their parents when choosing a mate. Thus, overall, the young people from these immigrant groups still seem to hold on to the values of the cultures they come from. Nevertheless, in the present research an unexpected, but striking gender difference was found: Moreover, compared to young East Asian immigrants in Canada, females were much less in favor of such influence, whereas males did differ relatively little from this group.

These findings may be interpreted in various ways. First, one may conclude that females from these groups are integrating and assimilating faster than males do. Indeed, in general, Moroccan and Turkish women are more likely to finish their education, and to find a job, which also seems to point to a relatively smooth integration of these women into Dutch society. Second, and related to the foregoing, it may be that males see more advantages of their parents in helping them to find a mate, as they might, given their often low education and their unstable employment situation, have an unfavorable position on the mating market.

Indeed, there has been for years much publicity in The Netherlands about Moroccan and Turkish males obtaining with the help of their parents brides from their country of origin. In contrast, as noted in the Introduction, for females it may be advantageous to have little control by their parents of their mate choice, as they may enhance their status by marrying economically well-off Dutch males.

The higher preferred level of parental influence on the mate choice of their offspring by males is also in line with the suggestion in the Introduction that it always have been primarily the males who used such influence to build alliances and obtain mates cf. Apostolou, Since men do, unlike women, not experience a drop in fertility as they grow older, men may still be, more than women concerned with achieving status and obtaining resources that can increase their mate-value.

One potential way in which fathers can obtain status and resources is through the marriages of their children.

Why do We Date? Manifest Functions Fulfilled Maturation Fun and recreation Companionship Love and affection Mate selection. Marriages and Families: Changes, Choices, and Constraints Seventh Edition Nijole V. Benokraitis Chapter Eight Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection.

Post a Comment. Wednesday, October 12, Chapter 8 Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection.

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Dating Disasters and Faulty Mate Selection: There Is a Better Way!

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Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection

This study examined the opposition against out-group mating and the attitude towards parental influence on mate choice among Dutch, 69 Moroccan, and 69 Turkish participants aged between 15 and The level of preferred parental influence on mate choice was considerably higher among the Turks and Moroccans than among the Dutch, but females in both ethnic groups were less in favor of parental influence on mate choice than males were. Overall, males showed a higher opposition against interethnic dating than females did, and the Turks showed a higher level of opposition to interethnic mating than both the Moroccans and the Dutch. In addition, the effect of opposition against interethnic mating on preferred parental influence on mate choice was especially pronounced among the Turks, somewhat less so among the Moroccans, and least strong among the Dutch. Especially young males with a Turkish and Moroccan background seem to hold on to the values of the cultures they come from, and particularly Turkish immigrants seem keen on keeping the cohesion of their ethnic group intact by opposing interethnic dating, and by favoring parental influence on mate choice as a way to achieve this goal. This is an open access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License http: In Western societies individuals are generally assumed to freely choose their marital partners. In many societies the parents were — and still are — the ones who eventually decide with whom their child should marry. For example, among the! Kung of South Africa, first marriages are usually arranged by parents and other close relatives Shostak, , and in a community of Australian aboriginals, marriages are predominantly arranged Burbank,

Today we search for soul mates.

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Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection

Broken relationships and divorce are at an all-time high. Popular movies and television shows such as How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days and Friends do little to help couples strengthen their interactions with one another or make solid, well-informed premarital decisions. Sadly, even the traditional nuclear family original father and mother rearing children under one roof is rapidly disintegrating and is near extinction. While humorous, this quote provides insight into the nonsensical dating approaches used today. The authors of Boundaries in Dating: Making Dating Work assert that truthfulness is an essential boundary and need in dating relationships. It is important to note that not all relationship books are created equal. Guerrilla Dating Tactics, for example, advises singles to learn tactics such as flirting maneuvers and pickup lines and to have a bag of tricks ready to use on that unsuspecting someone. As a refreshing contrast, there are several books that offer a more selfless and respectful approach to dating while strongly cautioning the reader to avoid the faulty reasoning and the problematic areas so prevalent today. He further pointed out that dating at the turn of the 20th century was very different. At that time families were very much a part of the whole courtship ritual, thus enabling a couple to steer clear of the hormonal pitfalls I Kissed Dating Goodbye, , p.

Choosing others dating and mate selection

Choosing a mate is a problem that humans share with most other animals because successful reproduction is central to natural selection. Peahens choose among the most attractive peacocks, female elephant seals pick males who have already attracted large harems, and even promiscuous chimpanzees exercise choice about the other chimps with which they will be promiscuous. Among mammals, however, humans are in a small minority in one important way: Across human societies, though, men and women bond together in marriage Broude ; United Nations Not all human mating occurs within such bonds; within and across societies, polygamous arrangements are relatively common Broude

My Parents Know Best: No Mating With Members From Other Ethnic Groups

Start studying Chapter 8: Choosing others: Learn vocabulary, terms, and more with flashcards, games, and other study tools. Dating process as a marriage market. Choosing the best available mate based on resources. Dating fulfills functions that vary depending on age, social class, and gender. Study 86 Ch.

Следи за мной, – холодно парировал Стратмор. – А как же Сьюзан? – Хейл запнулся.  – Если вы позвоните, она умрет. Стратмора это не поколебало. – Я готов рискнуть. – Чепуха. Вы жаждете обладать ею еще сильнее, чем Цифровой крепостью. Я вас знаю.

Все было бесполезно. До поворота оставалось еще триста метров, а такси от него отделяло всего несколько машин. Беккер понимал, что через несколько секунд его застрелят или собьют, и смотрел вперед, пытаясь найти какую-нибудь лазейку, но шоссе с обеих сторон обрамляли крутые, покрытые гравием склоны. Прозвучал еще один выстрел.

Он принял решение. Под визг покрышек, в снопе искр Беккер резко свернул вправо и съехал с дороги. Колеса мотоцикла подпрыгнули, ударившись о бетонное ограждение, так что он едва сумел сохранить равновесие.

Прибыв на место, офицер увидел мертвого Танкадо, рядом с которым находился упомянутый канадец, и тут же по рации вызвал скорую. Когда санитары отвезли тело Танкадо в морг, офицер попытался расспросить канадца о том, что произошло. Единственное, что он понял из его сбивчивого рассказа, – это что перед смертью Танкадо отдал кольцо.

– Танкадо отдал кольцо? – скептически отозвалась Сьюзан. – Да. Такое впечатление, что он его буквально всучил – канадцу показалось, будто бы он просил, чтобы кольцо взяли. Похоже, этот канадец рассмотрел его довольно внимательно.

Jordan Peterson: How Males and Females Select Partnersp{text-indent: 1.5em;}

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