What to do if your ex is dating your best friend

Content
  • 9 Ways to Deal with Your Friend Dating Your Ex …
  • 7 Crucial Rules for Dating Your Friend’s Ex
  • How I Survived My Ex-Boyfriend Dating My BFF
  • I’m dating my best friend’s ex and she won’t speak to me
  • You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right
  • My Ex is Dating my Friend! How to Handle it and How to NOT Go Insane
  • 9 signs you probably shouldn’t date your friend’s ex
  • Here’s Why You’re Allowed to Say Your Friend Can’t Date Your Ex

It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings. This is the ideal situation. Go ahead and ask him out.

9 Ways to Deal with Your Friend Dating Your Ex …

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Please report them. If you or someone you know is involved in an abusive relationship or would like information on warning signs to watch out for, check out The Red Flag Campaign. She told me the truth only after they had already made things official between them. She didn’t seem to feel that bad and even started to argue with me. I got upset and unfriended her on social media.

I am not sure if I should ever be friends with her again. Can you be friends with someone after something like that? My heart is hurting for two reasons and I don’t know how to deal with it in the best way. I think you’re looking at this like you lost something valuable and she scooped it up. That’s not the case.

He was never of much value to you or he’d be with you still. Your ex did you a favor; now you’re free to find the right guy for you. He’s out there, you know, right now, not far away. He’s got a ton of qualities you adore in a guy plus a few more that you don’t even know you love in a man because he hasn’t had a chance to introduce you to them. He’s dying to meet you but he can’t, because you’re carrying a torch for the wrong guy.

The sooner you let go of your past the sooner you can get on with your future. Slightly complicated by the fact that it’s coming from a user named -The-Pussy-Whisperer, but I appreciate it all the same. I think that all relationships, past and present, should be considered great opportunities for personal growth. You loved this person once. That love may have faded, but perhaps there is enough left to truly wish them well and let go of Ill-will towards them.

If you have that, then that is how you truly get past it. Also agreed, but at OP’s stage of grief, I think this is a little like “get over it. Or at least proper protocol. There will now always be a cloud over the friendship, especially since OP stated it was a close friendship. You can remain friendly but that friendship is irreversibly damaged. However, I do sort of agree with the latter part of your statement, to a degree.

What OP needs is to close the door on the relationship with both of these people, and get on with life. Be happy with yourself and your circumstances, and be happy being alone. If you meet someone while enjoying who you are, you might find someone but you will definitely enjoy life a lot more. When you do find someone, look for others that compliment your life, not complete it. The only one who can complete your life is you. Playing devil’s advocate, it is possible that he broke up with OP due to something OP did wrong or acted or whatever.

So in that scenario, OP still cares for him, but the opposite isn’t true. Regardless, the best info I can give is the same. Let go of the past and move on, there’s someone out there who you’ll meet who is better for you. Yeah, I didn’t make any assumptions about the whys of the breakup since she gave us nothing to base that on. But either way, my point still stands; if OP messed up and got dumped, it’s because that wasn’t the guy for her. Two ways to see it:. She did something that’s true to who she is that he couldn’t accept and so he dumped her.

This is fine because the right guy for her needs to be ok with the truth of who she is objectively, there are cases where some people’s truth needs work before the right person can come along, but even so. She did something not true to who she is that he couldn’t accept and so he dumped her. This is fine because if he were the right guy for her, she’d not’ve broken with her own way of being, driving the guy away, because there’d be no reason to do that at all.

Just so everyone knows, I don’t care to talk about it since you guys don’t know who I am at least I hope not , I broke up with him, but I still had feelings for him. He was a good boyfriend. I really like this. I mean I agree, but it’s much easier to say so from this distance than if it were happening to us.

Much as I’d like to say that I’d never have this reaction, it’d be a guess at best, and more like a lie, to be honest. I can’t say how it’d affect me if I were in OP’s shoes, because I’ve never been in that situation. It’s always different when it’s happening to you. I suppose. It didn’t bother me when it happened to me.

Both people are fantastic, and she suits him much better than I ever could. I love that they found happiness in each other. I am also pleased to be part of the group that introduced them. Someday, I’ll find my person, but it wasn’t him. Feeling the entitlement to limit who is the best person for either of them doesn’t seem like it’d help anyone move on.

It’s easier when you’re ok with the break, yeah. At that point why not? But OP isn’t ok with the break yet. Fair point, but I would question the wisdom of throwing out a friendship because of it. Over a guy or not, I’d feel horrid if I found out that my best friend had kept herself from someone with whom she saw a potential future just because I dated the guy first and it didn’t work out. Well I might agree, but then there’s the counterpoint: You’re friends with someone because of who they are and how they treat you.

You can be good friends with someone for a long time until a situation arises that shows you they aren’t the person you thought they were. Do you remain friends anyway because you were friends before? If yes, then why don’t you stay with the first person you dated for the rest of your lives as well? Situations reveal aspects that make us reevaluate people and sometimes they don’t make the cut; that has to be ok. Also just because you and I think it’s ok for a friend to get with our exes doesn’t make that right or wrong, admittedly , just our opinion on the matter.

I also found it an unfortunate thing that she had to give up her best friend because of that guy, but in the end I can’t know what’s best for her in her life. Maybe that friend would continue to hide important things from her and wind up doing objective harm down the road. I’m willing to give advice only so far as I am sure the receiver is still going to make the decision that’s best for them because I don’t want the responsibility for fucking someone’s life up by urging them not to do what’s in their heart.

If she thinks her best friend has to go, well, she knows her much better than I do, so maybe that’s right. I love this, I agree: Thank you for your comment: Trying to be positive and let go of thoughts of my ex and former best friend. No problem, but please don’t think I wrote it to be nice. It’s the truth. The sooner you accept that as true, the sooner things like this will slide right past you without a blip. Thank you.

I totally agree that the ex is not OPs property, he can date whoever he wants, and so can OPs best friend. It makes you wonder if bf liked ex the entire time you were dating. It forces the ex into OPs life if best friend remains with him. Best friend could have found someone else to be with. Maybe if several years had passed and circumstances changed. But this reeks of ill intention, specifically not telling the best friend.

I would question my relationship with any best friend who held something back from me for months. I think OP can find better friends. I’m with you. I think it can work out okay if you talk to your best friend about it beforehand, but the fact that the friend didn’t want to have an adult conversation with OP before they made things “official” and doesn’t even recognize that it would’ve been the considerate thing to do if you care about your friend’s emotional well-being at all, is really off.

Either the friend is very immature or just self-centered in general. Basically, it seems pretty clear that the friend values getting with the ex over her friendship with OP and when someone shows you where their priorities lie, you should pay attention. Yeah, exactly.

If you suspected your friend and your ex were interested in each If you feel angry or betrayed, make sure that your friend If conversations about your ex gives you negative emotions, it’s best to avoid. Nov 22, A friend who loves you would not put you in this damn awkward situation, especially if she knows all your secrets and how you feel about the.

It just sort of happened. Walk away from someone who could end up being the love of your life, or put one of your friendships in jeopardy. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma. Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. In some ways this is perfectly natural.

Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend’s ex.

My best friend is now dating my ex-boyfriend. Needless to say, it’s weird. So in your opinion, what are the rules about dating exes?

How I Survived My Ex-Boyfriend Dating My BFF

Trying to find ways to deal with your friend dating your ex isn’t always easy. It’s even worse if you and your ex didn’t split on the best of terms. Many think of it as a betrayal. If you don’t want to lose your friend, you have to find ways to deal with your friend dating your ex. With a little work, it is possible to remain friends despite the ex being in the picture.

I’m dating my best friend’s ex and she won’t speak to me

Breakups can be tough. Feelings of jealousy, self-consciousness, sadness, and anger are prevalent in such an emotionally-charged situation. Former Relationships. Learn more. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Method 1. Have a conversation with your friend about your feelings. Explain that you may be distant until you can fully get over your negative feelings. Hear out what they have to say before jumping to conclusions.

Whether or not you believe your situation is an exception, you should always talk to your friend before making any crucial decisions. Unless you value your relationship with a guy more than your friendship, respect that your friend may not be thrilled you want to start dating her ex.

She and I were soul sisters, spoke on the phone for hours, had sleepovers all the time. She was my rock. She started to date this guy and four months after they broke up we started to see each other. Also, I knew so much about their relationship.

You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right

By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understand our Cookie Policy , Privacy Policy , and our Terms of Service. Jane and I belonged to the same group of friends since childhood. In this group, we all used to hang out, go camping, all kinds of stuff. Despite all of us eventually growing older and parting ways, most of us stayed friends and would hang out regularly on holidays, still go camping in summer and so on. Jane and I started dating when I was 16 and she was We dated for 7 years, last 2 years living together. During the time we were living together, we would often hang out with Mike, another friend from the childhood friend group. One year before our break-up, she cheated on me with my then best friend Bob. Despite me willing to forgive her and move on, she wanted to break up, but we eventually agreed to try again. After a rather ugly year of her doing stupid things just to make me angry and me being afraid to say a word without triggering another episode of threats of her leaving me, she finally broke up with me and moved out. Despite realizing that it was the inevitable outcome at the time, I was devastated.

My Ex is Dating my Friend! How to Handle it and How to NOT Go Insane

In the passenger seat was my high school boyfriend. We had become infatuated with one another senior year, and we were now facing the inevitable relational shift: Our chosen colleges were three hours apart and neither one of us had a car or money. I was devastated, but a few weeks had passed and we were still in semi-regular contact. I would sign onto iChat everyday, and we spoke as if nothing really had changed. Breakups are almost unimaginably painful to begin with.

9 signs you probably shouldn’t date your friend’s ex

Sometimes when you develop feelings they happen to be for your friend’s ex. But, pursuing these feelings might not always be worth it. Some friends might be cool with you dating their ex, but other friends may feel it’s crossing the line. Here are some potential red flags to consider if you’re trying to decide whether or not dating someone your friend has dated is a good idea. Whether the relationship went down in flames or if two people who truly loved each other realized that things just weren’t going to work out, most breakups can be tough. And some can be worse than others.

Here’s Why You’re Allowed to Say Your Friend Can’t Date Your Ex

Perhaps one of the most important rules of friend code is you don ‘ t date your friends ‘ exes. Without this unwritten law, things can get messy. But he was a sweet class clown who could make anyone laugh—teachers included—so we stayed friends, even though our spark was gone. One Friday night I invited Michael and Bonnie to the harbor with my family and me. Every year we attend an event called the Parade of Lights, where the vessels are decorated with string lights and props that fit the year ‘ s theme.

And really, what do I care? Well, yes, the truth is that I have no right to be hurting, but what does the truth have to do with anything? Yes, he is my EX, and the emotions should be cooling off by now, and they were, but you never know the right equation for how to feel about your ex. No one has studied this important life question yet. You know what hurts even more? How can she expect such a thing from me? I want my story with him to be lived only once by the two of us:

Need help with your relationship? Whether it’s romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: No name calling, insults, or insensitive language details. We don’t care who started it. No suggestions for violence, or suicide.

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